When the Pastor’s Daughter Has Special Needs
I am so thankful for friends like Amy Fenton Lee who blogs at www.theinclusivechurch.com. She often visits churches with special needs ministries and then posts what she learns (including pictures and paperwork and policies) so the rest of us don’t have to reinvent the special needs ministry wheel. But once in a while, she blogs about something different, like this guest post from Gillian Marchenko.
Meet Gillian Marchenko
Gillian Marchenko is the wife of a pastor and the mother of four daughters. The two youngest live with Down syndrome. She’s also writes, speaks, and blogs about special needs. (To learn more about her ministry, visit her website at www.gillianmarchenko.com.)
Two Questions
In her guest post at Amy’s blog, Gillian shares her answers to two questions she was asked:
- How do church members love your girls?
- What does your church do to serve you specifically as a family with kids who have special needs?
Two Answers
Gillian’s answer to the first question was what you might expect: Of course, they love our girls.
But the answer to the second didn’t come easy. In answering it, Gillian realized two things:
- Their church members don’t know how to serve their daughters.
- Her family does not ask for help.
To read the entire guest blog, go to Amy’s website. While you’re there, take some time to look around. You will find plenty to get you thinking about special needs ministries.
How Would You Answer the Two Questions?
Do your church members love your kids with special needs? Does your church body know how to serve your kids? Leave a comment about your experiences. What don’t church members know? What have you neglected to tell them?
Thanks Amy and Gillian,
Jolene
The last church we went to seemed very willing to try to accommodate our son with his Aspergers quirks and peccadilloes. They didn’t always know all the ins and outs of his diagnosis, but many were willing to learn. They were patient, aware, and also conscientious of his peanut allergies. But we found we had to be proactive in education and requesting specifics.
When dealing with other parents of kids with special needs, I tend to respect their privacy and wait to take cues from them if they ask for help. As much as I should be able to relate, I am easily intimidated by unfamiliar terminology or equipment, and I find myself being reserved but cordial. It is often such a specialized community, we must seem to speak a different language to “outsiders”. Love and willingness really does speak volumes where we’re not sure what to do.
Kathleen,
Thank you for those wise words about being proactive and sensitive at the same time. Wish I’d interviewed you for Different Dream Parenting! Your wisdom would have enhance the book greatly.
Jolene