Hot Button Phrases: Parent Responses, Part 5
Today I’m wrapping up the series on phrases that push the hot buttons for parents of kids with special needs. (You can read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4 by clicking on the respective links.) Over the past two weeks, several parents have shared phrases that get them all steamed up, and today is no different.
But today’s mom makes me smile (hence the smile button) for two reasons. First, her response is impassioned as she deals with some hot buttons no one else dared to touch. Second, not only does she touch the hot button, she provides resources to help educate parents and kids about how to respond in the presence of kids with special needs.
What Not to Say
Here’s what this mom has to say about her hot button phrase which she framed in a Q & A format:
Q: “What’s wrong with him?”
A: Nothing is WRONG with him. What’s wrong is you asking such a question in FRONT of him. What’s wrong with YOU?!?!
See, I told you she was impassioned in her response. But she makes her point. Why would someone ask such a question in front of a child? Can you imagine how asking what’s wrong with a child would shape the child’s perception of self? The child can no longer be comfortable with who he is because people keep saying something is wrong with him. Ouch, ouch, ouch!
What Not to Do
But another behavior pushes this mom’s hot buttons, too. Young children often stare at her little boy when he’s out and about. In fact, this mom, Janis, recently posted an entry, Please Teach Your Children about Differences, at her blog, A Sneak Peek at Me. You may cry when she recounts the rude, insensitive comments and stares of children during their recent trip to the zoo.
Instead of railing at kids and parents, she pleads with them to educate their children about differences. At the end of the post, she lists several links. Following those links will lead you to great books to read with your kids. Books about kids with differences and special needs and how to respond to them. Books that will help kids become, as Janis says, “a generation of more compassionate and accepting children.”
Now that’s something to smile about, don’t you think?
Off to the library,
Jolene
When we get this from a young child, I usually get down to eye level and say something like: the part of the brain that controls his muscles is broken but otherwise he is just like you. Go ahead talk to him. But inside sometimes I want to say the above.