Hot Button Phrases: Parent Responses, Part 4
Phew, is all this talk of hot button phrases making you sweat? If you aren’t today’s thought-provoking response will do the trick. (If you haven’t read the previous posts in the series – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 – you may want to read them first to get some background.) Otherwise, here we go!
I Don’t Like “Disabled” or “Special Needs”
The mother of two young boys emailed her response to my original call about hot button phrases. The names of her sons have been changed, but other than that, here’s what she has to say about her first hot button phrases.
“I would have to say that I really don’t like ‘disabled’ or ‘special needs’ even. I tell everyone that Carl has ‘extra needs.’ I have done this mostly because of his big brother, who is pretty special too. So, this is where ‘extra’ came from for me. I never wanted Calvin, my oldest, to think Carl was more special to me then him and now that he is six, I think he would do nothing but question why people call Carl special.”
Pretty amazing mom, don’t you think? She’s considerate of how both her sons will respond to the words used to define them. I don’t know how successful she’ll be at changing terminology across the country, but she’s got a great idea. How can we make it catch on?
Helping the Less Fortunate…Those Kids
The same mom went on to relate a recent conversation she had with a young girl:
“I recently heard from a young girl something that made me a little sad, she was just casually speaking with me, it was kind of a babysitter interview, and she was telling me how she helps with the Special Olympics in our area because ‘she just wants to help those less fortunate, she just loves those kids.’
I could not believe what I was hearing…I actually felt bad for her. I know she did not mean anything bad by it, she is young and uneducated…doesn’t that just make you want to go to schools and educate these kids?”
Though I’m not quite sure, I think the hot button issue for this mom is the patronizing attitude of the young girl. Why is she feeling sorry for kids in Special Olympics? They’re having a ball, enjoying life to it’s fullest. Their lives aren’t like hers, but they’re happy with their lives, at least until someone tells them how unfortunate they are.
Did She Get You Thinking?
Did this mom’s response get you thinking? I’ve certainly been thinking, not only about my words but about my attitudes, since receiving her email. Her perspective revealed areas where I need to change and grow. If it did the same for you, leave a comment about how you’ve been challenged. And come back next time for the final post in this series about hot button phrases.
Suffering some growing pains,
Jolene
