Hot Button Phrases: Parent Responses, Part 3
I’m glad to see you back for the latest post about hot button phrases. The first post in the series was about words that pushed my buttons when our son was small. In the second post, the mother of a child with Noonan’s Syndrome shared her hot button phrases. Today, you’ll hear from a mom who responded to my original call for hot button phrases with outstanding grace and consideration for her child and others.
Kylie is Autistic
Today’s first mom makes an important point about hot button phrases. Here’s what she has to say:
“Instead of saying that Kylie is Autistic, we say one of the following:
- Kylie has Autism
- Kylie has an Autism Spectrum Disorder
- or our favorite response is that Kylie (or our family) experiences an Autism Spectrum Disorder (after all, it affects us all)”
Kylie’s mom goes on to say, “Another phrase that is a hot button is when people call children who are non-verbal – “dumb”. Recently, we attended a home school conference where the song ‘O For A Thousand Tongues’ was sung and the lyrics were not altered to be relevant or sensitive to today’s times. (the word “dumb” was used to describe individuals who are non-verbal in the song).”
We, of course, wrote a letter expressing our feedback and educating the leadership on what would have been more appropriate and considerate.
Phrasing Matters
Do you see how much phrasing matters to this mom, both in what is said to her and in what she says to others? By changing the phrases people uses, she focuses on her daughter, not on her daughter’s condition. By phrasing her own words with grace, she makes others aware of insensitivity and provides alternative ways of speaking.
An Example of Grace
I think Kylie’s mom is an exceptional example of grace in action. Her wise answers challenge me to think before I respond when people push my hot buttons. Her answer also begs a new question. What graceful responses have you developed on behalf of your child with special needs? Leave a comment or email your ideas so others can benefit from your wisdom.
Seeking grace in the face of hot button phrases,
Jolene
